分类目录归档:见证

王建龙的见证

王建龙‘死在罪恶过犯中

压制真理

1981年我出生在河北省的一个小村子。众所周知,中国是一个无神论的国家,并且没有自由选择自己的教育,所以从小我就被灌输了以下的观念:

  • 人和猴子有共同的祖先,进化是科学事实,生命是从无机物进化来的。
  • 宗教与科学是对立的,宗教是迷信。
  • 共产主义是最好的社会形态,西方国家的人们都是被压制的。

尽管我的外公、外婆是天主教徒,他们从来没有向我提过圣经。在这样的背景下,我长大自然就成为了无神论者,但是从来没有思考过进化论到底是什么。所以,我相信因为人类无知所以产生了宗教,也成为统治者统治人们的工具。我不相信任何超自然的事,相信人是进化来的。其实,当时内心里不关心真理是什么,我所做的都是为了自己的幸福。

外表自义,内心黑暗污秽

从外表来看,我是所谓的老好人,学习努力,成绩不错,对我认识的每个人都很好,考试也从不作弊,对穷人也有怜悯的心,甚至曾经想去边远的山区教书。但是在我内心里,我常常感受到空虚,有一次舍友都出去度假,我一个人在宿舍呆了一个礼拜,心里极其空虚,莫名其妙的大哭了一场,也许我感觉到生命毫无意义。所以,我沉迷于电影,想逃避现实,同时我也被情欲捆绑,经常手淫,因此我非常自卑。

他使我活过来

理性上接受

2004年至2007年,我在大学学习,要拿预防兽医学硕士学位。在2005年,我去了广东省兽医研究所做实验,要完成我的论文。那里,我遇到了一位基督徒(张洪利),对我特别好,在实验研究上给我很多帮助,我们成为好朋友。他跟我分享了一个小册子,我现在知道是四个属灵的原则,告诉我耶稣是谁,他做了什么,并邀请我接受耶稣作我的救主和主。但我拒绝了,毕竟我是一个理性的人,有道德的人,我不需要救主,事实上,我不承认有一位创造者。几天后,他给了我一本书,是一个留美的中国科学家写的,之前他是一个无神论,但在留学期间成为一个虔诚的基督徒。他提到两件事,引起我的注意,第一,就是很多获得诺贝尔奖的科学家都相信上帝,他们疯了还是没有理性?第二,宇宙和生命是如此的复杂和精确,它们真的是从大爆炸来的吗?我谦卑自己,在这方面下了一番功夫,最终发现进化论真的是不可信的。我的世界观倒塌了。那是很痛苦的过程。我感觉被整个社会、政府欺骗了。我需要重建我的世界观,并找到生命的意义。许多宗教都有自己的看法,到底哪个是真实的呢?带着这些问题,我读了很多书,包括圣经,花了很长一段时间,我了解到基督教是合乎理性的,在2006年3月11日,我告诉洪利师兄我愿意成为基督徒,他就带领我祷告,加入了一个基督徒的学生团契,尽管那时候我跟上帝还没有一个个人的关系。

亲自认识主

一天晚上,我一个人在宿舍读圣经,我并不知道读到哪,但感觉非常安静,一些图画开始出现在我脑海中,是一些我做过的害羞的事。一个声音进入我的意念,“我来是拯救罪人,不是拯救好人,你是一个罪人吗?”我的眼泪禁不住流下来,我开口说道:“主啊,我需要你!”我承认自己的罪,喜乐充满我心。我知道这不是一个宗教或者从人而来的世界观,这是真理。上帝是活着的上帝,耶稣是活着的!

新造的人

从那时候起,我非常渴慕读圣经,并且跟我的家人,同学分享我认识的真理,我开始对那些活在谎言中、追求毫无价值的事物的人产生极大的怜悯,时常忧伤。之前,我曾经替同学考试好几次,因为我从中得到友谊和尊重,为什么不做呢?但认识主耶稣后,我知道这是不对的,又有一个要好的同学请我替考,我就告诉他,我成了基督徒,我的主不喜欢我这样做。我知道这个勇气是从上帝来的,因为我通常不习惯拒绝别人。渐渐的,我认识上帝,他喜欢我们过圣洁的生活,手淫是错的,我祈求上帝的帮助,经历和很大的争战,现在我得胜了。但我知道警醒和自制的重要,要时时靠着,因为成圣是一生的功课。

呼召

2007年,我回到我在西安大学,因为我跟同学作见证,他们很快就帮助我找到了我们学校的学生团契。我们学校有40 000 大学生, 只有不到40名的基督徒,我的灵常常忧伤。我们需要传扬真理,当他们知道进化论不是科学事实,他们听到上帝的话,就会回转的。我设计了一个基督教文化展,做了11副展览版,把上帝的道表明出来,许多同学来看,有些还做笔记。但是第三天,我们的展板就被没收了,但我们很开心。

那时候,每次我读圣经,我都觉得做一个真正的门徒意味着放弃世俗的目标,单单为耶稣而活,跟随他。救恩本身我们是白白得着的,但真门徒要全部白白的舍去,附上所有的代价(我现在理解我们并没有舍去什么,所有一切都是从他而来的,是他的爱激励我们)。每次读好像都听到,放下一切来跟随我。我必须做一个决定,但我怎能侍奉他呢?我不善言谈,小时候碰到陌生人都会哭。2007年的一天,一节经文改变了我,“若有愿做的心,必蒙悦纳,不是照他所无的,乃是照他所有的。”(林前8:12)我就得到鼓励,愿意来服侍他。但当时还有很多软弱和压力,蒙主的带领,一一攻克,在我拿到农学硕士学位后,我就接受了为期半年的门徒课程和简单释经学习,在2008年冬,被差派到南宁建立教会。

反省

七八年过去了,大约20多人接受洗礼,不到20人在主日崇拜,我做个人布道,训练门徒,带领他们去短宣,甚至去泰国跨文化宣教。我心里很不满足,我觉得有很大的需要进一步的装备,我真不知道如何牧养教会,甚至不知道健康的教会是什么样子,也许因我自己不是在教会成长起来的吧。我的机构对大使命很有热心,但我认为缺少一个健康的教会观,并且有种实用主义的倾向(不注重真理,而是果效),我认为这不符合圣经,觉得所有的事工都应该以教会为根基,而且真门徒的成长是在实际教会生活中发生的,不是透过教导几个材料就可以了。所以,我决定离开机构,预备学习神学。中国是一个巨大的禾场,我的负担是在中国植堂牧会,还有就是神给我们看见教育教会下一代的重要性,我们也想做基督教教育的工作。

 

Testimony of Jianlong Wang

王建龙Died in transgressions and sins

Suppress the Truth

I was born in a small village in Hebei province of China in 1981. It is well known that China is a country of atheism and there is no freedom to choose your education. So, from the beginning I was inculcated the following concepts:

1/human and monkey had same ancestor;

2/ communist society was the highest social formation;

3/ our country was the best and western people were under oppression.

4/ Science and religion were contradicted to each other.

5/ Religions were superstition.

6/ Evolution was science and truth, which means life came from inorganic materials.

Although my Grandpa and Grandma were Catholics, they never mentioned Bible to me. Therefore, under this background of education, I became an atheist naturally, without thinking or understanding what evolution really was. So, I believed the religions were created by men because of ignorance, and they were tools used by rulers to control their people. I denied anything supernatural, and believed human being came from ape or some animals like that. Actually, I didn’t care what the truth was, all I did was for my own happiness.

External self-righteousness, internal darkness and impurity

From appearance, I was a so-call good man, studying hard and having good grade, being kind to everybody I know, never cheating on exams. And I had compassion for the poor, even decided to go to the remote mountainous area as a teacher after graduate. But deep in my heart, I often had a sense of vanity. There was once a time when my roommates were outside on vacation, I stayed at the dorm for a whole week without going anywhere and I had a big cry without reason, maybe I felt meaningless of my life. So, I was fascinated by movies, because I could escape the reality in the fiction. At the same time, I was bond by masturbation and I felt myself inferior and ashamed, though nobody knew about it.

He made me alive

Rational acceptance

From 2004-2007, I studied at university to get my master degree on the area of animal medicine. In 2005, I went to Guangzhou to do research to accomplish my thesis. I met a Christian who was very nice to me, he helped me a lot on the research and we became good friends. He shared a booklet to me, which later I knew was the four spiritual laws. He told me who Jesus was, and what he did, and asked me to pray to receive Jesus as my savior and my master. But I didn’t accept this invitation, after all I was a reasonable man and moral man, I did not need a savior, and I believe there was no creator objectively. After a few days, he gave me a book written by a Chinese scientist who once studied in US. Just like me, the author once was an atheist, but during the period staying in US, he became a godly Christian. Two facts he mentioned draw me great attention: first, many scientists who got Nobel prize believe in God. Were they mad or unreasonable? Second, the universe and life are so complicated and accurate, do they really come from a big bang? I humbled myself and did some research on this area, and I found out that the evolution theory was untrustworthy. My worldview was corrupted. It was a painful process. I felt cheated by the society, by the government. I needed to rebuild my worldview and find the meaning of life. Many religions had their own ideas, but what was the truth? Where were we come from? Where were we going? With these questions, I read lots of books, including the Bible. It took a long time. Finally, I learnt that Christianity was a reasonable religion, so on March 11, 2006, I told my Christian friend I would like to be a Christian. Then he let me pray and joined in a Christian fellowship, even though I didn’t know God personally.

Know Him personally

One evening I was reading Bible in my dormitory alone. It was extremely quiet. I didn’t know where I was reading. Some pictures appeared in my head, they were something shameful I did. Then a voice came into my mind, “I come to save sinners, not the righteous. Are you a sinner?” I couldn’t hold back my tears and cried out “I am a sinner, I need you, o my Lord!” I confessed my sins, and great joy was in my heart. I knew this was not a religion or something came from human brain. It was truth! God is a living God, Jesus is alive!

New creation

From then on, I was eager to read Bible and share God’s truth with my families and my classmates, and had a great compassion for the people who lived in lies and pursued worthless things. Before I know Jesus, I used to replace other to enter the exam several times. I could get reward from this kind of thing, such as close friendship, respect, why not do this? After I knew Jesus, I confessed my sin for cheat. When another friend asked me to help him on the exam by cheating, I said to him I became a Christian and my Lord dislike to do this. I knew this courage come from God because I never refused to help others before. Gradually, I knew God liked us to live a holy life, masturbation was wrong, so I ask God to help to quit it. It was a fierce battle. Now I conquer it. But I know the importance of self-control and being alert, because it is a life-long war to sanctification.

Calling

In 2007, I returned to my university, and found a student fellowship on our campus. There were more than 40 thousand students and only less than 40 were Christians, and my spirit was full of sorrow. We needed to spread the truth, when then know that evolution wasn’t fact and when they heard the word of God, they would return. I designed an exhibition of Christianity Culture on the campus, and many students read the word of God and some of them wrote down the verses of the Bible on their notebook, but on the third day, our publicity boards were confiscated by the university, but our heart were full of joy.

At that time, every time I read the Bible, I found that to be a true disciple of Jesus means to give up pursuing secular aims and live for him only and follow him. Salvation itself costs us nothing, but to be a disciple will cost us everything (Now I understand I didn’t pay anything, all come from him. It is his love motivate me to keep going). There was no other way. I had to make a decision. But how could I serve Him, because talking was hard for me. I was an introvert and a shy person. When I was a little boy, I would cry when I met a stranger. One date of 2007, when I read the bible, I was encouraged by a verse, “For if the willingness is there, the gift is acceptable according to what one has, not according to what he does not have” (1Crothins8:12). So, I gave my life to Jesus.

After achieved my Master Degree of Agriculture, I accepted a half-year training on disciple-making and Bible-interpreting, then be sent to plant a church near a university in Nanning.

Introspect and Application

Seven years pasted, about 20 people were baptized there are less than twenty people getting together on Sunday in the church. I did personal evangelism, I made disciples, and lead them to have MT in Thailand several times, but I didn’t satisfy, and I felt a great need for further equipment, for I really don’t know how to shepherd a church, and even more I don’t know what a healthy church looks like, because I didn’t grow up in a church. My organization which sent me does have a passion for Great mission, but I don’t think it has a healthy view of church, and maybe have a tendency of pragmatism which is popular in today’s mission, but I think it is not biblical. But I think the church is the central of all ministries, true discipleship happens in church and daily life only, not through teaching materials. So, I decided to leave the team, and to prepare to study in seminary. China is a huge field, my burden is church planting and shepherding church in China, another burden God give to me and my wife is the education of the next generation in the church.